“Money may not be able to buy you love, but conflicts about it can certainly bankrupt your relationship.” –Michelle Singletary Here at last is the lowdown on how to manage your finances with the man in your life. Money is the #1 problem couples fight about, says beloved Washington Post financial columnist Michelle Singletary. Acknowledging that most fights about money are usually about something else–like feelings of fear or resentment–Singletary stresses the value of open dialogue. In her trademark no-holds-barred style, she shows us how to handle the entire range of financial issues couples face–from splitting the dinner bill when dating to planning for retirement together after years of marriage. Singletary speaks to the hearts of women as they try to successfully merge their money and future security with those of their man. Acknowledging the emotional weight of shared investments, she brings her own experience as a wife and mother to the table and doles out advice in a voice that, while encouraging and rational, is never less than frank on tough topics. From sizing up a potential mate’s financial responsibility (or lack thereof) to figuring out how best to share bank accounts and expenses once you’ve made the leap, to determining how to teach your children about money, Your Money and Your Man focuses on the undeniable role that finance plays in every stage of a long-term relationship. Including typical questions from readers of her syndicated column and advice from one of the savviest financial experts she has ever known–her grandmother–Singletary shows women that they can live happily ever after with Prince Charming, even if he doesn’t have a royal bank account! Michelle Singletary’s Washington Post column, “The Color of Money,” is now syndicated in more that 130 newspapers across the country. She is the host of Singletary Says on the cable network TV One, as well as a regular contributor to NPR’s Day to Day and has appeared on MSNBC, CNBC, Nightline, The Oprah Winfrey Show, The View, and The Diane Rehm Show. Singletary is a graduate of the University of Maryland and has a master’s degree in business from Johns Hopkins. For more than fifteen years, she has covered business and personal finance, first for the Baltimore Evening Sun and then for The Washington Post. She lives in Maryland with her husband and three children. Visit her website at www.michellesingletary.com. Introduction   In all the years I’ve been a personal finance columnist for The Washington Post, I’ve received scores of letters and e-mails from couples (many during the regular online discussions I host). I’ve had the chance to see how many couples mismanage their money.   It’s heartbreaking.   Again and again, I see what happens when couples fail to communicate or compromise, marry people who don’t share their financial goals, or act like they’re roommates, not people partnered for life.   I’ve heard from couples with good incomes who are near bankruptcy because they can’t budget. I’ve heard from couples who make major purchases without consulting their spouse. I’ve heard from couples who hide purchases. I’ve heard from couples who try to outspend each other like children fussing about who got a bigger piece of pie.   I’ve heard from women who boast about having secret bank accounts because they don’t fully trust the men they chose to marry. I’ve heard from couples who argue over who should pay what percentage of the household bills. I’ve heard from couples full of resentment because one person makes more than the other.   I want to smack them.   Here’s a universal truth about your money and your man: Money may not buy love, but fighting about it will bankrupt your relationship.   How is it that people can proclaim to love one another, sleep with each other, and even have children together, yet won’t do what it takes to stop fighting about money?   I know why.   And deep down, you know why, too.   Couples fight about money because they have “issues.”   Perhaps your husband was overindulged as a child. As an adult he feels entitled to the best this world has to offer, regardless of whether he earns enough to pay for it all. Or maybe your boyfriend grew up not having much of anything, and worries now about having enough money all the time. The result is, he’s so frustratingly frugal that when he pinches a penny, he dents it.   The fights are not about the money. They are rarely about the money. For example, I received a letter from a reader who wrote: “I grew up very poor and never wanted to live a ‘poor’ life as an adult. I was able to get myself through college and get a decent paying job. I married quite young, at twenty-one. He was twenty. Twenty years later, we are getting divorced. And the number one reason was the issue of money.”   Specifically, the woman wrote, the divorce was precipitated by her husband’s unplanned purchase of a truck. “He just went out and bought it,” she said. “I feel horrible